Gifting is such a beautiful thing. It’s generosity, thoughtfulness, and love all wrapped up in one. Finding that perfect present for someone you care about can bring just as much joy to you as it does to them.

But here’s the thing, sometimes gifting spirals out of control. Between birthdays, weddings, babies, holidays, teacher gifts, and “just because” moments, the list feels endless. And if you’re not careful, gifting can shift from being joyful to being stressful, VERY quickly, especially when it starts draining your bank account or adding to debt.

In fact, when I ran a poll recently about gifting, 60% of people admitted they felt guilty or embarrassed if they didn’t give a “big enough” gift. That’s a problem. Because gifts should never come at the cost of your financial peace of mind.

So, how do you set gifting boundaries without feeling like the Grinch? Let’s talk about it.

Why Setting Gifting Boundaries Matters

At its core, gifting is about showing love, connection, and thoughtfulness, not about price tags. When you consistently overspend out of guilt or pressure, two things happen:

• You move further away from your financial goals.

• You start resenting the very thing that’s supposed to feel good.

Boundaries aren’t about being stingy, they’re about being intentional.

5 Tips for Creating Healthy Gifting Boundaries

1. Make a Plan Before You Spend

Without a plan, gifting will always cost more than you expect.

• Create a list of who you want to gift to (holidays, birthdays, weddings, etc.).

• Assign a budget to each person or occasion.

• Stick to it.

Think of it like meal prepping for your money, if you don’t plan ahead, last minute choices almost always cost more.

2. Communicate With Friends and Family

Sometimes we overspend because we don’t want to look like the “cheap” one in the group. But often, others feel the same way.

• Suggest group celebrations instead of individual gifts.

• Focus on the kids only during holidays.

• Try fun swaps like cookies, ornaments, or book exchanges.

• With your spouse or partner, agree on a set budget ahead of time.

You’d be surprised how relieved people feel when someone finally says, “Let’s keep this simple.”

3. Focus on Quality Time, Not Price Tags

At the end of the day, what do people actually want? You. Your presence. Your time. (And if they don’t want that…then you have some more important questions to ask yourself about that relationship).

Plan experiences instead of purchases:

• Coffee dates

• A family hike

• A home cooked dinner or romantic fondue dinner for two

• A “kid free” babysitting night for a friend

Normalize showing love through time and attention instead of swiping your credit card.

4. Shop Early (and Smart)

Last minute shopping = overspending. Always.

• Buy ahead when you see sales.

• Keep a small “gift stash” of thoughtful items.

• Avoid paying extra for expedited shipping.

Planning ahead saves you money and lets you give more thoughtful gifts instead of panic purchases.

5. Redefine What “Enough” Really Means

Here’s the real mindset shift: the value of your gift isn’t measured by the dollar amount.

A handwritten note, framed photo, or homemade treat can mean far more than the “expensive” thing you felt pressured to buy. When you strip away guilt and comparison, your gifting becomes more meaningful.

I’ll Leave You With This

I’ll be the first to admit, I love gifting. But I’ve also felt the stress of overspending, buying last minute for the kids, and letting guilt creep in. What I’ve learned is this: quality/thoughtfulness > quantity/price tags. 

So this year (and every year after), give yourself permission to set boundaries. Make a plan, talk to your loved ones, gift your time, shop smart, and remember: thoughtful will always beat expensive.

Your future self, and your bank account, will thank you. And one more thing that I thought might be helpful.

FAQs About Gifting Boundaries

How do I politely say no to a gift exchange?

Be honest but kind. You can say something like: “I love celebrating with you, but I’m keeping things simple this year. How about we do a cookie swap or just spend time together instead?” Most people appreciate the relief of not having to overspend or the vulnerability it took for you to be honest about where you stand. 

What’s a thoughtful gift that doesn’t cost much?

Some of the best gifts aren’t expensive at all. Try a framed photo, photo book from a family vacation, a handwritten letter, a home baked treat, or planning an experience together like a hike or coffee date. These often mean more than a pricey item.

How do I set a budget for holiday gifting?

Click here for my FREE Holiday Gifting Template to organize your gifts, spending and holiday goals!

Start with the total amount you’re comfortable spending without debt. Then divide that amount across your list of people and occasions. If the math doesn’t work, adjust expectations now instead of overspending later.

How do I stop feeling guilty about giving a “smaller” gift?

Shift your mindset: the point of a gift is to show love and thoughtfulness, not to compete on price. Remind yourself that your relationships aren’t built on dollar amounts, but on connection. 

Should I tell my kids about our gifting budget?

Yes! This is a great teaching moment. Explain that gifts are about love and thoughtfulness, not money. Involving them in making homemade or creative gifts can actually make the holiday more meaningful and help them understand that gifts don’t have to be grand to be appreciated.